Dr. Sherry Nau on avoiding the financial mistakes caused by stress
Dr. Sherry Nau on avoiding the financial mistakes caused by stress.
To help you understand these issues and how you can protect yourself we spoke with Sherry Nau, Executive Director of the newly opened Gavia Life Care Center. Dr. Nau holds degrees in Counseling and Education and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. Gavia has a different, holistic approach to helping people with many aspects of mental health. Sherry gives us insights into what to watch out for, in ourselves and others, that may indicate that our anxiety is causing us problems. And she shares with us some strategies for how to address it.
Steve:
So Sherry Nau, thanks very much for joining me here.
Sherry Nau:
Glad to be here.
Steve:
So, I wanted to talk with you because we're now about a year into this pandemic and it's affecting a lot of different people. Not just because of some of the things that have had to change, but I sort of get the sense that there's even more going on. Just sort of general anxiety, general stress levels. What are some of the things that people might be feeling that are actually related to stress from the pandemic that they may not put together that way?
Sherry Nau:
Well, certainly the anxiety you mentioned is pretty prevalent. People are aware of that. The feelings that sometimes are underneath that we sometimes miss or aren't quick to label, are kind of the loneliness that people are beginning to experience. I mean, it's been a long time and for some people it's been the two or three people maybe that they see, but it's missing some of those other interactions. Even as simple as the person who you saw at the gas station when you got coffee every morning. Sometimes those small interactions they have meaning.
Sherry Nau:
So loneliness has been a feeling that has been there and I think it's becoming more prevalent, it's stronger. Along with loss. Again, we talk about the tangible losses, from people who have left or died, but the intangible losses, the losses of hope, the dreams, I thought by now I would be here and now I'm not at this place. Or I thought I'd have earned this much money, but now everything fell apart. So those losses are also now accumulating over time. And so those are really both really powerful feelings.
Steve:
Yeah. And when you say lost, I mean, I'm reminded. I hear people talk about some of the things that they'd wanted to do, go on a vacation or those kinds of things that that's another kind of loss, right. All this stuff that they'd hoped to do over the past year, that they couldn't.
Sherry Nau:
Right. Exactly.
Steve:
Yeah.
Sherry Nau:
And it's those dreams that sometimes help us get through some of the hard times. Well, when it's been a... I've talked a little bit lately about kind of the acute versus chronic stress. So the acute stress is oh, it's happening, but we can get through it. Well, when it turns into a year long, that becomes a chronic stressor and coping with chronic stress is much more different than just simply coping with an acute stress. Not that that's hard, but chronic stress really wears people down.
Steve:
Yeah. So let's talk about that in just a minute, but before we do, we're a financial firm and so this isn't Dr. Phil. So I'm particularly interested in what are some of the ways that this can translate into unproductive financial activities? How could some of what people are going through this year show itself up in something that affects the family finances?
Sherry Nau:
A couple of areas. Actually, just yesterday I had somebody say, "Well, I don't ever watch QVC, but I turned it on," and we all know where that went. Right? [crosstalk 00:03:02].
Steve:
Yeah. Right.
Sherry Nau:
Activities that they may not normally do they're doing, and some are not necessarily the wisest of choices. Online gambling is now more prevalent than it ever was before. Again, when people end up sad and depressed, they just simply don't pay their bills when normally they would be really on top of that. And online shopping.
Sherry Nau:
The other small area is, unfortunately there's always someone trying to exploit someone's weaknesses. The start a business from home and we'll help you be successful. And so people perhaps making investments in business as well. I couldn't do this so I might as well start a business because I've always wanted to. Well, perhaps this isn't the right time and that might not be the business you would have thought at if you had not been locked up in your home for three or four months.
Steve:
Sure, sure. Interesting. Yeah. Things I would not have thought about. So if people recognize these feelings or even more important from our perspective, if they see themselves having these unproductive financial kinds of activities, what can people do to alleviate some of those feelings or stop themselves from having those bad financial decisions?
Sherry Nau:
Well, there's a myriad of coping skills and each person has to find kind of a coping skill that works for them. Many times just simply getting out of the house, literally kind of doing a pause and saying, "I'll make this decision in an hour." Just simply saying, "I'll make this decision in an hour," that gives someone perspective and gives a chance to stop what might've been an irrational or a ill thought out decision and might give them time to not make that decision or change the outcome of it.
Sherry Nau:
So a pause, a walk out the door, turn on some music is simply... And I tell people this and they always kind of laugh at me, simply going and taking a shower even if you've already had one is a really great coping skill, because there's something about, again, it causes you to pause. And that process is just a moment of reflection sometimes that helps to, again, change the outcome of what may not have been a good choice. Journaling. My mother used to say, "Write a pros and cons list," and of course I never did. And now here I am preaching it. So maybe my mother was right.
Steve:
Oh no, don't admit that, please.
Sherry Nau:
But journaling works. We know that when you get it out of our... Because it rumbles in our head and it twirls.
Steve:
Okay, interesting.
Sherry Nau:
Get it on paper that process of forcing us or typing it even is still really helps brings clarity.
Steve:
Yeah. And so then at what point could people recognize that they might benefit from talking to a professional about some of these things?
Sherry Nau:
That's the point when the person who you normally speak to, your significant other, spouse, friend, neighbor looks at you and says, "I don't have any idea," or tells you the same thing over and over. And you're like, "Hold on. Maybe I need to talk to someone else." So a counselor or a therapist, we aren't just trained to listen. The other piece we're trained to do is like... I talk to people about we connect the dots. So it's by listening to you on week one and week three and week six and going, "You know, what you're saying today in week six sounds very similar to what you said in week two."
Sherry Nau:
And when we can connect the dots for you, it gives you then the ability to go, "Oh, got it. Now I see what I'm doing. How is my narrative thinking getting me down the same path yet again, in a decision that I didn't want to make." So that's the difference between talking with a counselor, a therapist versus talking to your friend, is we hopefully are able to give perspective and help people see a picture and a insight into their behavior and why they're doing something.
Steve:
Yeah. Yeah. Now, while we're talking about that, you are the director of a new mental health clinic here in Rochester. Can you tell us a little bit about Gavia?
Sherry Nau:
Sure. So Gavia Life Care Center, we're located in Greece on the West side of town. I purposely chose this area because I think the West side is a very underserved community. We are an outpatient mental health counseling agency. We are licensed by the Office of Mental Health and in New York state that's really important. New York state, I'm sure like your business, has its boatload of regulations.
Sherry Nau:
The Office of Mental Health, the reason their regulations are important are two reasons. One, it allows us to accept all insurances, including Medicaid and Medicare. And two, it allows us to have a full range of services. So if you go to see someone in private practice which you can do, you're going to have a counselor, but that's the only person on your team. When you come here, you have an entire team. We have a psychiatric nurse practitioner, we have a nurse, we have clinicians. We may offer group. We will offer group, but maybe appropriate for you.
Sherry Nau:
So it's about having a full range of services. Medication is always a really nice thing just to kind of keep on the back burner. It doesn't mean everyone needs medication, but there are times when, call it six months or a year, a medication can kind of help kind of reset and kind of realign us back onto the right path. And then a year later they're like, "I think I've got this, I've picked up some tools. I'm now feeling better. I've put a whole bunch of new activities in place, and now I'm kind of ready to maybe wean off the medication." So that can be a really nice adjunct to therapy.
Steve:
And from what I understand, many independent healthcare centers can't do the medication part of it, is that right?
Sherry Nau:
They cannot no. A private practitioner is a solo practice so then you would have to go someplace else if you wanted to try to get medication. And in the city of Rochester, finding someone to prescribe medication, especially for mental health, so an antidepressant antianxiety medication is really, really burdened. The system is very overwhelmed right now.
Steve:
And just to build on what you said before, I've heard it from another therapist before that sometimes, you give people tools and you give them strategies, and they're just so overwhelmed that they just can't use the tool. But if they can get a little respite from some medicine for a bit, they can use the tool and then once that starts, then they don't need the medicine anymore. They can go on with. So it can be a real short-term kind of thing to enable you to utilize a tool or a strategy.
Sherry Nau:
Yes. Mental illness, depression, anxiety those are brain illnesses. It's not like someone is just purposely not getting out of bed or if they just tried harder. Well, if they tried harder, they would already be doing it. They're doing the best they can with what they have. So correct. Medication kind of, I talk about kind of raises the bottom so you don't fall so low so that then you can kind of say, "All right, I have what it takes to get myself out of bed and to maybe go out and take a 30 minute walk or to phone somebody and call and ask for help, and to maybe eat a better meal than I normally would." And those are the tools that over time start boosting our mood, help us feel better and suddenly I'm managing and coping.
Steve:
Oh, that's great. So if people Sherry, want to find out more about Gavia, where can they find you?
Sherry Nau:
We have a webpage, so you can certainly go to our website, which is... And Gavia is G-A-V as in Victor, I-A and Gavia is actually the... Everybody's asked me this, it's the Latin name for a loon. And a loon, besides being my most favorite bird, anybody who knows loons have a beautiful, beautiful sound. It is also a bird that dives the deepest and holds its breath the longest, which I think both for therapy and in life, sometimes we're required to hold our breath and take a deep dive. So that was where the name came from.
Steve:
Oh interesting.
Sherry Nau:
It's Gavialifecarecenter.com is our website. So you can go to our website, we have our phone number. We have access. You can send us an email from there. So yeah, easily [crosstalk 00:11:14].
Steve:
That sounds great. Sherry, thanks for joining me.
Sherry Nau:
You're welcome.
For more information, visit www.GaviaLifeCareCenter.com